


Two Can Do What None Can’t

by Unicornsfartglitter



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Low Self Esteem, M/M, M/M/M, Self Harm, Threesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:14:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25079707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unicornsfartglitter/pseuds/Unicornsfartglitter
Summary: Daryl is unhappy with his life, cutting is his only way to cope. What happens when he finds out Negan and Shane are more than friends?
Relationships: Daryl Dixon/Negan, Daryl Dixon/Shane Walsh, Shane Walsh/Daryl Dixon/Negan, Shane Walsh/Negan
Comments: 8
Kudos: 57





	Two Can Do What None Can’t

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to include glorious threesome butt sex. Oh well! Maybe I’ll add a chapter later.

Daryl looked down at his scarred chest then to the mirror, his eyes were hidden by bangs but couldn’t hide what he was. Ugly and useless. He always knew he was these two things but being in Alexandria reawakened that feeling, along with another feeling he had buried. 

He was too tan, lean but his stomach held a pudge, the only part of his body he could actually admire was his toned arms but he never felt brave enough about them. The sleeves ripped off his shirts were not to reveal them but because of the awful heat.

‘Nobody could want me.’ Was his last thoughts before he went to bed.  
———————————————————  
Alexandria was too damn domestic, the civilians don't understand a hard day's work or what was out there. Walkers were second to all the bad guys left, that fucking dinner party he went to last night was a joke. Two women hee hawing about home made bread and jam. 

Negan was never a bad guy but there were times he went darker than he was now, it had to be that way sometimes to survive. Right now would be a time he would have pulled out Lucille to bash in some human skulls and show them what’s what. It had been a long time since he killed an innocent to save more, it was okay to do that to show others how to live but this was Rick’s show.

For the most part Rick was a decent leader, sure he put Carl and Judith’s life above everyone else's but Negan could kind of understand that. If he had kids he would probably have done the same. Their leader could be ruthless when he had to be as well so Negan sat back and took orders, he had questioned Rick’s choices before and could do it again and if that didn’t work well he could just leave.

The only thing was that option was a bit harder these days.

“What are you thinking about baby?” 

Warm hands slid under his jacket to caress his torso, damn he wanted those hands to be somewhere else and he groaned when they did actually sink further, teasing at the hair above his dick. When fingers touched his slit he hissed and gritted his teeth, just as quick they retreated.

“Fucking tease.” Negan grumbled.

Shane laughed and nipped at his ear before placing a sweet kiss on his neck. 

“I say we make this run the quickest it’s been and come home and fuck.” Shane said with a sultry wink.

To Negan this place wasn’t quite home yet but he couldn't disagree with Shane’s plans.  
————————————————————-  
Daryl hid his disgust at how he was rushed on this run, it had been two weeks at that hell hole Alexandria, all he wanted to do is get out and relax. He felt like he was suffocating there, the only problem now was he was being rushed, could barely pile all the cans in a duffel bag before Shane or Negan nudged him to another room. Daryl didn’t understand why they weren’t taking their time to gather supplies thoroughly but he was about tired of it.

“We got all we can use here, let's try that house down two streets and around the corner.” Negan ordered.

That jackass always took the lead when Rick wasn’t around whereas before he came into the picture it was Shane taking that hat. Now Shane bowed down to Negan's every word, and was less aggressive. Shane stupidly grinned as he nodded and peeked outside the front door, taking the order easily.

“We’re all clear.” Shane said as he slid out.

In the car Negan and Shane talked, about old days and all kinds of shit. Daryl pursed his lips, silently cursing the day he lost his last set of ear plugs. The only thing that helped was pressing on the bandage bound around his lower wrist. The day was too long already even if he didn’t want to go back to Alexandria.

Negan covered the ground by himself not following any safety ques from the other, stalking up to the abandoned home, all confidence. It grated Daryl’s nerves how cocky he was, he denied he liked how Negan swung his bat and seemed to own any place he landed. With that Negan opened the door and they were inside a new house. The two ran off to another room and Daryl sighed out as he rifled through drawers under a tv hoping maybe it contained more than DVD’s. Of course that was all there was so he closed the cabinet and went to the kitchen finding it bare as well until he tipped his toes up and found a chocolate bar.

It couldn't be…

Opening the package Daryl grinned for the first time in months at finding chocolate, it was still fresh and he broke off a piece groaning at sweet indulgence coating his lips. It was about the best thing he ever popped in his mouth and he closed his eyes grinning.

“Well holy shit!” 

Daryl opened his eyes and saw Ngan smirking, scowling he stood up straighter.

“So he can smile.” Negan teased.

“Fuck off!” Daryl mumbled, turning to the cabinet on his tiptoes again hoping for another treasure which was asking too much.

Grumbling he peeled back the package and broke off another piece of chocolate in his mouth.

“We're done, all cleaned out.” Shane let them know.

“Just fuck.” Daryl hissed, trying to savor the last of his chocolate.

“What’s his problem?” Shane asked.

“Hmm, I think he smiled for the first time and it broke him.” Negan teased, his stupid big white teeth gleeming.

Daryl hated him, hated that fucker Shane too. 

“My problem is you two are rushing, there might be more but we can barely search each room before you move on, what's the rush?” Daryl complained.

The pair smirked at each other like they had a secret and they probably did, fuck if Daryl cared.

“There really isn't any more here Daryl.” Shane said with a broad grin.

“Whatever.” Daryl leaned down, got his empty bag and barged out after a quick check.

The next house was searched just as quickly and Daryl was sick of this shit but he stayed quiet. Coming out with some damn sunscreen and a can of green beans sucked, he was pissed. Not only at being rushed but by Negan’s remark about him smiling. He didn’t smile often, was angry but did they really see him as a sour puss that needed proclamation when he actually did smile?

The bandage itched and his heart sunk so he pressed on the hidden cut and breathed in. Alexandria wasn’t far away, he didn't want to go back but being with these two today made him more stressed.

Rick cocked his head causing Daryl to roll his eyes, it wasn’t a good supply and he understood the surprise of his friend but he was over it so he just walked away. 

Inside the house he shared with Rick, Michonne, Negan, Shane, Carl, and Judtih he took a shower trying not to be put off by Carol’s jokes he didn’t bathe. The hot stream of the shower ran down his tired, aching back. He couldn't remember a day his back didn't hurt before the Apocalypse, it had probably been broken once or twice, ribs fractured and the deep scars still seemed to hurt. Tonight he hurt more than usual but it didn't stop him from picking up a razor and cutting across his thighs almost turning hard at the harsh sting. The urge to cut deeper was taunting him but he pulled the blade away and pressed his head to the shower stall wondering if maybe he should just go ahead and do it.

Killing himself wasn’t why he wanted to cut deeper, it was just an ache to hurt a bit further, feel that sharp gash cut into his flesh and take away his weary thoughts but because he didn't want to die he dropped the razor and finished washing not put off by the deep, rich red that tainted the shower floor. Still, he debated if he could cut deeper and be okay but the risk wasn’t worth it so he pressed on his newest wound instead.

After he was washed up he holed up in his room to avoid eating dinner with everyone. Daryl wanted to know what Carl was up to and catch up with Rick but family dinners were never his thing. Even now at the end of the world he worried about food caking on his face, if he was holding the fork right, the idle chatter that wasn’t supposed to turn awkward when you were with family, It wasn’t something he knew how to handle because he never had a family until now.

It was way past dinner time when Daryl poked his head out, not hearing much downstairs he was sure a late dinner wasn’t made so he walked down the steps casually, a scowl on his face to deflect any intention that his choice of a late dinner was on purpose. Daryl exhaled when he saw no one in the living room and approached the kitchen.

“Hey pookie!'' Negan teased at Carol’s pet name for him, Daryl shook his head, hair falling over his eyes.

Negan wasn’t a bad guy, well more like most of the time he wasn't a bad guy but he smack and that smile! Always smiling like shit was still good these days. 

‘Always wearing a damn sexy smile.’ Daryl thought. ‘No it wasn’t sexy! What the hell?’ 

Daryl frowned then.

When there was no reaction, Negan sighed dramatically and pulled out a casserole, warming up a generous portion of the leftovers.

“Chicken pot pie Daryl! They have a chicken farm, shits delicious!”

Negan filled up a large cup with ice water and placed it on the table, Daryl already knew the plate was for him. This was something Negan always did, he made sure his friends ate and they were medicated when it was needed. The man just took care of people, Daryl didn't know how to handle that so he nibbled on his fingers.

Negan’s urge to babble was high but it would make things worse, Daryl wasn’t happy on a good day and he could see the hunter was hanging on by a thread. Taking care of those around you was what you were supposed to do but no! Heat Daryl up a plate of food and he got nervous, he knew there was more going on though but he knew when to stay quiet.

When the microwave beeped Daryl sat down and waited, a fork and plate was placed down in front of him, the cup moved over. He took a large sip of water and bit down hard on his lip when Negan sat down beside him. Eating alone was what he wanted to do and now he couldn't. His appetite almost left as he stretched out a bandaged arm and took his fork, poking at his food to let it cool down along with his nerves.

Negan was quiet and Daryl relaxed when the other started to make a list and ignore him completely. Pecking at his meal he tried to eat and ignore Negan, it was easy after a few full bites and the water was nice and cold after being out in the heat all day. His plate was almost clean when Negan folded up his list and and leaned back in his chair.

“So Daryl.”

Daryl cringed at his name being spoken, it was soft and concerned, the need to say good night was insistent but it would also be a tell that he was panicked by Negan so he dropped his fork, and took a sip of water but Negan didn’t say anything else.

The look on Daryl’s face said it all, he was scared and Negan knew he was closed off. Rick was the only one who gained his trust fully and the few times Negan asked Rick things about Daryl the leader would cock his head and get quiet, tell him to mind his own business. The evidence was there, the shake of Daryl’s head to hide his bangs shortly after the scrunch of his eyes, fingers digging into palms as his straight posture turned a little stiffer. Negan knew he was scared and nothing scared Daryl Dixon but emotions so he decided to drop it.

All Negan was going to say is “I’m here if you need to talk.” but he left it be.

Instead Negan squeezed Daryl’s thigh softly and didn't let it bother him that Daryl still flinched, it was a smaller action than their earlier days and that was enough. When Negan let go of his thigh Daryl stood up straight and went to the sink, Negan followed behind him and turned on the faucet.

“Sit down on the couch, we will play cards after I wash the dishes.”

So Negan was still taking care of him, he let him as he walked to the couch and shuffled the cards on the table. Shane walked in the front door not long after and when Daryl turned his head and meet his gaze Shane smirked and bit on his lower lip causing Daryl to swallow and look down to shuffle more.

Shane plopped down heavily on the couch and shifted over closer to Daryl, the heat of Shane’s leg against his made Daryl drop a card. He picked it up before he stood up.

“Gonna take a smoke.” He almost whispered while walking out.

Negan watched their interaction, concerned because Daryl missed his observation. The hunter didn't miss a thing unless he was unsettled. 

“Whats wrong with him?” Shane asked while dealing out their cards

“I uh went mother hen on it and he’s fighting it.” Negan said with a roll to his eyes.

“Damn Dixon. I used to hate him but he's grown on me like mold.” Shame huffed out.

“Hmm.” Negan tipped Shane’s chin towards him, kissing him chasely. 

“Sure he hasn’t grown on you like a wet dream?” Negan added, palming at Shane’s clothed dick and kissing him deeper.

“Maybe.” Shane whispered, his breath hitting Negan’s moist lips.

They parted and both laughed just as Daryl came back in, the ice in his veins flared, his pa and Merle whispering that the two were laughing at him. Part of Daryl knew this was just remnants of his abused past and that he was paranoid but it was easy to believe he was the center of all jokes.

Hard blue eyes looked at Negan and Shane. Negan could see hurt, he wasn’t sure why it lingered there but he had a sneaky suspicion.

“Shaney here is telling me about how hard Rick and Michonne’s bed was knocking last night like I’m deaf.” 

Picking up on the tension Shane chuckled. “Well you you can sleep through a tornado.”

Negan was a hard sleeper so Daryl let himself believe it wasn’t a lie and approached the two. “We going to play games or talk about fucking?”

The word sounded so filthy on Daryl’s lips that Negan closed his legs, putting more distance between him and Shane.

“Well I don’t know which I enjoy more, actually I do but let’s play cards I guess. Daryl, you don’t strike me as a kiss and tell kind of guy.” Negan’s tone was low and seductive.

Daryl blushed and sat down beside Shane who was in the middle of the couch.

“Come on lets play.” Daryl rasped

A few games in and Negan had only won one and Shane zero, Shane stifled a yawn.

“I’m going on a run with Aaron tomorrow so I better hit the sheets.” Daryl stretched his still aching back after putting the cards back in the package.

“Yeah, I promised to milk the cows.” Negan sounded excited.

Daryl was never good with goodbyes, good nights, hell even words. He was thoughtful but used to being laughed at when he tried to be nice so he only blushed and nodded, then fished into his vest pocket.

“Sounds like a plan.” Daryl said softly and pulled out the rest of his chocolate, dropping it onto Shane’s lap, not looking back as he ran up the steps and into his room to be alone.

Shane smiled, opening the chocolate, two pieces for each of them left. 

“Always fucking shares.” Negan stated and broke off his share.

“Always.” Shane said as he chewed down on his as well. 

“Chocolate is his favorite you know.” Negan stated while chewing slowly.

“Hmm, I know.” Shane replied.

If Daryl was there he would be shocked to hear that these two men knew anything at all about him.  
————————————————————  
It was never easy for Daryl to fall asleep, he thought too much about a past he couldn't change or a future he couldn't prevent.

“Daryl Dixon, you’re going to be the last man standing.”

Beth’s reminder rang in his ears, the moment she told him that he knew she would be next, he wanted to be the one to die right on that spot. So many regrets loomed in his mind, wishes that he snagged the first needle away from Merle’s arm, that he could convince his ma to run away, that they could make it without Pa. Instead she burned to ash and never had a marker, no memory to her name. Then there was what came with the walkers, more regret. He couldn’t save Sophia, be there for T Dog. Lastly, was the reminder that always teased beneath his skin, how tonight he enjoyed sitting on the couch with two men. How Negan’s gaze met his and made him think the man actually wanted him, Shane patting his back when he won each hand.

Daryl hated himself for a lot of reasons but the excuse his pa used to beat him almost every night was the thing he hated himself for the most, pulling out a razor and made one fast, deep cut against his stomach and finally fell into a sleep that most men couldn’t claim to really be that.  
—————————————————————  
Daryl felt the raw, angry energy inside him subside. Aaron was a godsend, wasn’t much of a talker but said enough to let you know he cared about you and could listen if you had anything to say. Not that Daryl did.

They found a good haul, nice new rope and candy for the kids was their best find. Breathing in, outside of Alexandria allowed him to relax. Aaron looked his way a few times as if to say something but left him alone, it made him almost giddy, someone who could shut their damn mouth.

Rick wore the broadest smile on his face when they returned, giving Daryl the smallest side hug, those used to make Daryl’s heart melt. There was a time when the leader giving him any praise did things to him and it hurt so bad that it could never be more but when Michonne and him got together he had to respect that and it took time but he moved on.

The long drawl of nicotine into his lungs accompanied by a deep cut into his flesh and Daryl felt confident that he could manage dinner at the table tonight. There were hours until then, things could change but he huffed out a small smile, calmer after many weeks.

Taking the steps two at a time he happily opened the door and froze.

“Shit!” Negan yelled.

Negan was clothed but his crotch was nestled against Shane’s naked ass, Negan’s hand was palming one cheek and it was evident what this was. A lot of emotions swirled through Daryl. Shock, anger, jealousy, also something he couldn’t decipher.

With the door wide open Daryl startled with his mouth open, enough time passed that Negan had was closer to him and Shane had pulled his jeans back up, both stood staring at him.

“Daryl.” Shane spoke softly.

Daryl was unable to process this, it was like betrayal but that didn’t sum it up so he ran up the stairs.

“Daryl!” Negan yelled behind him.

Daryl slammed the door shut, locking it for good measure and if he wasn’t so erratic maybe he would laugh at acting like a child, the back of his head thudded hard against the door, he hissed in relief.

“What just happened?” Shane asked Negan blankly.

Daryl was hard to understand on a good day.

“I think we broke him.” Negan replied.

Shane hit his stomach hard in warning. “Now’s not the time for jokes, what the hell was that?”

Negan rubbed his hand against the back of his head and groaned. “What do you think that was?”

Shane was unsure so he slouched his shoulders. “Would I ask if I knew?’

Negan tsk’d, Shane could be so dumb somtimes. “Well he’s a repressed gay and saw us getting some action.”

“Come on, we give him shit sometimes and maybe he’s bi but that wasn’t a normal reaction.” Shane grumbled.

Negan took Shane’s hand and kissed it, rubbing his palm, he looked into the other’s eyes. “He’s not bi Shane and I think…” Negan sighed. “I think he likes us and didn’t think we swung that way and we probably hurt his feelings.”

Daryl isn’t sensitive, if he really felt that way he wouldn't show it like that but what else made sense? Shane knew Negan could read people well, better than he ever could.

“What do we do then?” Shane asked.

Negan already knew the answer. “We give him space.”

Daryl’s stomach never rumbled that night, he was used to not eating all day and instead he cried, made gashes into unbroken skin, and tried to understand why he felt so hopeless. Nothing ever turned out fair for him. Not one to lie to others or himself he tried to evaluate exactly what he was feeling. Was he mad they didn’t tell him they were together? Angry that they fucked on a couch he sometimes had to sleep on? So many explanations came to his mind but none quite explained his thoughts and for once Daryl realized something.

He didn’t even know how he felt.  
—————————————————————  
Morning came, it was easy to escape, just head out a bit before sunrise and no one would be up. He suspected Negan might be there waiting at the bottom of the steps to speak to him but he wasn’t and Daryl breathed easier as he ran out the house.

No one cared what he did anyway so he ran past the walls, hunting squirrels and rabbits even though his group were the only ones to eat them, he mulled over not eating but it would solve nothing, giving in he ate some jerky. A few more scrapes of a razor and he felt confident in returning to Alexandria.

Inside the gates once more Daryl made his way to the small shelter to skin his hunt, he had no issue with the porch but was judged so this was his new area. Skinning the animals and separating the entrails was almost like therapy. Humming Daryl picked up a smaller knife, skinning the squirrels close to the meat to save the fur for something useful. Next, he diced up large chunks of rabbit for stew.

“Damn!” He hissed as the knife cut into his thumb.

Daryl quickly ran his hand under a faucet grateful the meat was barely tainted by his gushing blood.

“You okay?”

The hair on Dary’s neck prickled at the soft concern coming from Negan behind him, standing straighter he kept rinsing his thumb wanting to ignore Negan but that wasn’t possible.

“Yeah.” He grumbled.

Negan’s steps toward him were soft, undetectable to most people's ears but Daryl held his breath, waiting.

“Let me see.” Negan whispered.

Negan was beside him and with nothing else to do Daryl stood stiffly and let Negan inspect his thumb.

“Might need stitches.”

“No it doesn't!” Daryl snapped.

He didn't mean to but Darryl looked into Negan’s eyes and saw him roll them, it was a deep cut.

“At least butterfly stitches Daryl.”

With no way out of it Daryl snatched his hand back. “Fine!”

Daryl turned to head to Denise but Negan held onto his shoulder, gently like he knew what pain a firmer grasp would cause. 

“If you promise not to run off I’ll go get some and help you.”

It was ridiculous, Daryl could just go get patched up quick and be done. There was no need for Negan to help but he surprised himself when he accepted what was about to happen. “Fine.”

“Don’t run.” 

Dread pooled into Dary’s chest, pooling heavy in his veins but before he could resign to saying “okay” Negan was gone as if he knew Daryl would listen to him.

Busying himself with the rabbit meat it wasn't long when Negan returned with a small bottle of antiseptic, cotton gauze, and butterfly stitches. Nothing was said as the hunter reluctantly came over to the small sink and let himself be patched up. Negan’s hands were soft yet calloused, they bandaged him quickly but with no pain. Daryl looked down to see his bandaged hand in Negan’s, firm hands that patched him up were now holding his hand, they both looked down at the sweet action.

“I’m sorry.” Negan said.

“For what?” Daryl was getting angry, not understanding why Negan was apologizing, why he was so nice to him.

“Do I have anything to be sorry for?” Negan asked.

Daryl raised his eyebrows and pulled his hand back, gently this time and gnawed on his lip a minute, contemplating running off but it would solve nothing.

“Nah, you don't, it’s why I asked.”

Negan sat down at that reply, two rickety chairs and a small table to shell peas were under the shelter. Daryl calmed his thoughts and sat down across from him.

“I would never hurt you on purpose.”

Daryl went to say something, anything but a strained sound came out instead and he leaned back, letting his hair fall over his eyes. There were things he couldn't understand in this life, never had the luxury to understand and talk things out, expressing things he felt was one of the hardest things for him despite current circumstances.

“You didn’t.” It was a lie, bitter and cold on his tongue. It didn't feel right and heat twisted in his guts.

“I did.” Negan replied simply.

Daryl chanced a look between the strands of his hair and saw Negan looked remorseful, open.

Breathing in deeply Daryl wanted to cry, he wouldn’t though. “What do you want from me?”

His voice was soft and sad.

“Just for you to admit I did hurt you.” 

Daryl shook his head, it was like his wild thoughts last night. “I don't feel hurt.”

Now Negan looked burdened, Daryl cringed at the fear of pity he thought the other man may have for him, it made him ball his fists up, ready to fight. Even if he didn’t know what for.

“I tell you what Daryl. Tonight at nine, come to the empty house at the end of the lot of Winchester Road. Shane and I will be there, don't keep us waiting.”

Negan patted his shoulder and with that he was gone. Daryl stared at Negan’s empty seat refusing to comprehend what just occurred.  
————————————————————-  
Daryl paced, he couldn’t really take Negan up on his invite right? What would he do there with Negan and Shane? Pushing on the cut on his wrist he sighed out, exasperated with all the thoughts swirling through his head.

“He’s not going to come.” Shane looked out the window of the house they were at.

“Not tonight.” Negan joked, he was sure Daryl would show up.

Shane shook his head and turned from the window when Negan wrapped a hand around his waist. Negan leaned down and kissed him, placing a hand on his cheek. Most would be amazed that a man like Negan who wouldn’t flinch at beating a man’s brain in with a bat could be that gentle.

“What do we do if he does come here?” Shane asked.

He wanted Daryl to visit them, break him out of the shell he was in. After all these years Shane could still see the pain Daryl tried to hide.

“We just talk, let him realize that we want what’s best for him.”

Negan always knew what to say. They both turned at a soft knock to the door followed by softer footsteps. Negan practically ran to the door and opened it to see Daryl rushing down the steps.

“Daryl.”

The hunter froze, closing his eyes in irrational fear, his feet wouldn’t let him move to run away or turn. He heard what was happening behind him, Negan staying still as Shane joined him at the door, Negan taking only one step and hesitating before walking slowly and loudly to Daryl to let him know what was up. It almost hurt, Daryl understood that each step Negan took was deliberately loud and slow to let Daryl know what was happening. Was he really that fucked up that someone could understand he needed this?

“I’m glad you came.” Negan was slow to put his hand on his shoulder.

But when he did Negan squeezed his shoulder, like an anchor, soft but firm, Daryl breathed in. Negan didn’t turn him around and Shane didn’t move from the door’s entrance. 

“Just come in.” Negan finally said.

‘Run, run, run!’ Dary’s mind screamed but Daryl was tired of running, it was getting too hard so he nodded in agreement and listened.

Hair still covering his eyes and looking at his shoes Daryl was led inside, his heart hammered because Negan was holding his hand and wouldn’t let go. There was a couch inside, Daryl sat down in the middle, Negan joining him quickly. Shane was slower, Daryl refused to look around but after Shane swallowed thickly and decided to sit down he relaxed a bit.

Negan, always prepared, filled 3 glasses with whiskey, Shame swallowed his entire glass quickly and Negan refilled it.

“I think we should start off with the obvious. Shane and I have been together awhile, before Alexandria actually. He means a lot to me.”

Daryl’s heart sunk, he looked up to see Negan looking over at Shane. Their eyes met and there was something there, like what he saw with Michonne and Rick and Aaron and Eric. It wasn’t like what Rosita had with her newest boyfriend, it meant more.

“But we would like for you to be comfortable.” Negan added.

Daryl didn't know what comfortable was, his body ached daily thanks to things that happened to him long ago at his pa’s hands. He didn't know how to feel happy or “normal”, didn't understand that his racing thoughts and doubt at everything he did wasn’t familiar to others. 

“Comfortable?” Daryl coughed to clear his thoughts, the raspy unsure question he asked held an edge of fear that he had tried to block out of his voice.

Negan pushed his leg against his, and squeezed his leg. “Yeah Daryl comfortable.”

Daryl stood up then, panic flooding his eyes. He wanted out so he rushed to the door.

“Daryl.” It was Shane speaking to him now, using a tone that was unfamiliar. His name was not spoken as a demand to stop, was almost too soft for anyone to hear.

“Let us show you that we can take care of you.” Shane whispered.

It was too damn confusing and Daryl laughed, near maniacally as he looked down. ‘Dixon’s only took care of themselves.’ He thought. It made him angrier because it was true but did Daryl really take care of himself? He didn't feel well enough to say he was content so did it matter if he could feed himself and make it somehow?

“Come on now, just stop fighting everything. We can help.”

Still rigid and wary Shane took Daryl's hand and led him to a room, he laughed condescendingly at the air mattress blown up on the floor but he let himself be pushed to it. He didn’t want to fight it so he closed his eyes, refusing to acknowledge that Shane and Negan joined him. A man’s fingers ran through his greasy hair, another man at his other side laid a head on his chest but he let it go. By the time his body relaxed completely and he was almost asleep Daryl smiled, if only just a little.

————————————————————--  


Daryl still had to do it today, in the shower he cut a thin line down his leg. It was a close call but Rick didn't get bit, that wasn’t what shocked Daryl though. What shocked him was that Aaron hand slipped on the knife and he dropped it, a set of rotting jaws chomped down trying to get to him and Daryl was too far away, whispering out a beg he shot a bolt, relieved when the walker dropped. Combine that with the dream he had last night and it couldn’t be helped.The shower’s scathing burn alleviated his growing pain and after digging his nails into his palm, drawing some more blood he decided he could get out of the shower.

Two weeks, it had been two weeks since he last cut himself because it had been that long since he met Shane and Negan at an abandoned house. The house wasn’t abandoned any more though because the three of them moved in it, Rick barely batted an eye as they packed up and moved out. It was weird, Shane and Negan fucked in bed while he watched and sometimes he was too overwhelmed and just slept on the couch to only hear their moans.

Daryl didn't have to say how he felt, if he needed space he got it and when he couldn't say he needed company it still arrived. Negan kissed him, Shane did too, both took turns rutting against him, Daryl turned hard but still couldn’t come in his pants. He was pathetic but they still let him sleep in their bed. The pressure started to build again so Daryl made a deeper gash against his other leg, pressing down on it, seeing more blood pour out calmed him, enough to bandage his abuse and go to bed.

Lying wasn’t for Daryl, he nibbled his lip almost raw as he put on pajama bottoms and crawled into bed. If Shane or Negan saw the bandages they would ask questions, so far he had old gashes they didn't question and scars they kissed but dared not mention. He was stupid to think being with these two could make the urge go away. 

‘With them? You think you are really with them? It’s some kind of game stupid.’ His mind taunted.

Shane walked in and he smiled nervously, calming when Shane started to strip down to his boxers. Daryl didn’t know if he would ever want to have sex, he barely jacked off as it was but Shane’s cut body couldn’t be ignored. Shane smirked, pulling on his boxers in a tease like he was about to strip completely before crashing in the bed, he half landed on Daryl and pecked his lips before getting under the covers.

“Really? Pajama bottoms Daryl?”

Daryl blushed, he had been wearing boxers since they moved in together, just like the other two did. He opened his mouth to speak but then Negan came in. 

“Look at my two gorgeous boys.” Negan cooed, winking at the pair as he stripped down to his black boxers.

Negan got under the covers and kissed Shane, his hands started to softly palm at Daryl. Even with his deep kissing Daryl knew if he needed a break Negan would give it to him, it was becoming a routine. Daryl smiled a little knowing that if he needed anything to stop for once in his life it would actually come to a halt. Negan pulled back from his kissing, his tongue licking up Shane’s lip. Sultry eyes peered at Daryl, turning softer even as a hand slipped under his boxers and caressed his skin, traveling further to his dick.

Daryl gasped when Negan pulled his hand out and tsk’d. “Pajamas Daryl?”

The room felt small, for the first time since this arrangement started Daryl debated running from the room and back to the small, lonely bed still vacant at Rick’s but he couldn't, his heart wouldn't allow that.

“What are you hiding Daryl?” Negan asked.

Daryl looked down at his hands, Negan’s question alone had him ashamed. He was such a damn fuck up and if they realized that they would leave, it was probably for the best. They only wanted a threesome and it would take too much work for him to give them that and he liked them but would have to love them to take this further. They couldn’t be looking for that anyway and don’t you have to love yourself before you can love others or some bullshit like that?

“Daryl, baby.” Shane ran a palm down his chest briefly before petting his hair.

Shane had never called him baby, he looked up to see Shane smiling at him sweetly. His voice didn't hold disappointment or pity as he spoke again.

“We already know.” Shane said.

Shane tugged on his pajamas, still giving him time to fight. Negan rubbed at his naked chest, purposely running across a scar that Daryl had created himself. It was hard but letting Shane yank on his pajamas, lifting his hips to let them come off felt like he was fighting something harder than if he fought to keep them on, he was fighting back against all the words that filled his head and who he was right now.

Daryl watched as Shane peeled back a bandage, Negan mimicking the action on his other leg. Shane looked at the cut and leaned over to touch the deeper gash of the opposite leg, next to Negan.

“I don’t like you doing this Daryl.” Negan kissed his flesh, close to the cut.

He shook when Negan kissed the healing cut to his wrist next, revealing he knew something he tried too hard to hide.

“But we love you enough to help you through it.” Shane said.

Love? Daryl had to be losing it, he didn't just hear that word.

“Yeah sugar, we love you and we aren’t ever going to stop fighting for you. We want you to be happy.” Negan kissed him.

“Just try your hardest to let us know when you feel like you got to do this, okay?” Shane urged him.

He wanted to say “okay” but he just couldn't speak.

“We will work on it. Together.” Negan told him.

Together, now that sounded nice. Daryl racked his brain trying to think of anything to say, he wanted to appease them or at the very least bring up another subject to cut the tension only he was feeling.

“If you find us some rabbit tomorrow, Carol found cayenne and I want to try a spicy stew.” Negan started.

Damn, this man always knew what to do.

“Sounds amazing.” Shane said.

Daryl pulled Shane’s head down to him, kissing him sweetly, the man settled in against him like Daryl was his rock and not the other way around. Negan slid a hand across Daryl’s stomach and linked it with Shane’s. It was easy for Daryl to place his palm over their linked hands and settle deeper into the bed.

Negan kissed Daryl’s neck and whispered. “It’s a deal if you make the biscuits Darling.”

“Deal.” Daryl rasped.

Maybe Daryl could get past this afterall, with these two men at his side.


End file.
